bizzaro world

2004-04-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

Hey to all out there who read my little entries (yes yes, all two of you, if I'm lucky). It is me... I am still alive, barely. Tomorrow is the last day before spring break. I think I'm more excited than the students are. I am very much ready for this to be done. I am physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. I have had enough of prom, boy-toy discussions, parental abuse allegations, gang problems, pregnancy, suicide attempts..... the list goes on and on. All of the teenage drama. I'm ready for a break from it.

On the good side, I know that at least one of my students likes me. I was told by this student that I should stay for the rest of the year instead of the teacher. After telling her that it wasn't nice to talk about her other teacher like that, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Awww.

I gave a test today to my juniors. My first period of juniors didn't really like it and passes this information along to the next class. The second class of juniors came in and said that they heard my test was really hard. All I did was laugh. They looked at me and told me it wasn't funny. Yes it was. I mean, come on, there were rumors going around about MY test. That's awesome.

Other than that, I have nothing really to report. Yes, in all this time, I have nothing to say. That's yet another problem here - my life is working. From 5am to 10pm, I am working on school stuff. It's actually very sad. Almost done though. Almost done.

2004-02-25T17:16:00.000-08:00

Two of my students were attacked Monday after school in the park. One nice, quiet junior and one very polite, sweet freshman were beaten up by a gang of girls running after school in the park right by the school. It's crazy. I felt so bad for them, especially when my freshman student told me before class that she didn't study for the quiz they had yesterday. She felt so bad and kept apologizing for not being ready for the quiz. I kept telling her it was fine; all that mattered was that she was ok. She can always make up a quiz. That's terrible that these kinds of things have to happen.

Then today was horrible during my last class of the day. Utter craziness.

I hand out their quiz.
"A quiz! How can you be having a quiz?"
Um, I don't know...it's only been announced on the board for the last week and I've only announced it five times this week.

I hand out a worksheet to do during class.
"More work! Is that all we do in here? Why do you give us so much work to do?"
Hmmm...what the hell else do you expect to be doing in here? You've never just sat in class doing nothing. It's not hard work either. It's just a worksheet."

I remind them that their project is due on Tuesday.
"Tuesday!! We haven't had time in class to work on it! How can it be due then?"
Um, I don't know...it's only written on your project assignment sheet, and I've said it every day since I handed it out. And let's see, it's homework. Why in the world are you expecting me to give you all this class time to be doing work?

Complaint after complaint....49 minutes of it. Let me just say, I was tired after that class.

2004-02-08T11:27:00.000-08:00

I've finished with my first week of....observing. I haven't done any teaching really, other than walking around and helping students diagram sentences and pronounce "monotonous." But, this week, I have to start teaching the freshman class. They're the crazy ones, so lucky me, I get to start with them. They don't stop talking. Not at all. From bell to bell, someone always has something to say, and no, these comments don't have to do with the class. It's random stuff. Should be interesting.

In other news, I have a scratch and a sore mark on my forehead due to a druken stupor last night. And no, not my own druken stupor. Amazingly, it's due to someone else's. My mom went out with her coworkers last night and came home somewhat more than tipsy. I went up to bed, not wanting to deal with her in that state. She came up later anyway, tried to flop onto my bed (with me in it), lost her balance, and fell into bed instead. She must have had her mouth hanging open or something because her tooth hit my forehead, causing this morning's soreness. Terrible. See, this is why I'm not a fan of drunkeness. Stupid people.

2004-02-01T11:51:00.000-08:00

It's been a very long week. I'm back in the Chicago area again though and very upset about how fucking cold it is outside. I got lost the other day for about an hour. I was numb from head to toe. I was very willing to just lie down on the sidewalk and wait for authorities to come and scrap me off the pavement, but I decided against it when I saw a huge chunk of ice fall off the building and shatter all over the sidewalk where I was going to collapse. I figured there's no need to be killed by ice.

Anyway, I'm off to move into my apartment today. I think it's a really nice place, but it will be a little cramped with the 5 of us living there. Yes, that's right, 5 people. I'm a little worried about people ALWAYS being there and that I'll come across as the bitch when I yell at them all because I can't stand them anymore.

I've been at my school for student teaching two days now. Despite the fact that I have to get up at 5am to travel down to the school, it's a really nice place. The teachers were very welcoming. I'm a little overwhelmed, and well, terrified, that soon I have to start making plans for the classes. I'm still not really sure what I'm going to do with these kids. I'll be starting with the freshman classes. These are the ones that scare me. They're loud and very active. I hope I survive. I'll let you know in 3 months.

2004-01-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

I have learned today that I do not have to adhere to a dress code, exactly, at my school. There is no mandated skirt wearing at this school. Very good news.

I got into an argument the other night with a fellow employee the other not about what are strectch pants and what are jeans. She was wearing jeans (a no-no at work) and was claiming they were stretch pants. I hate stupid people.

Then, in other exciting news, I missed the student teacher dinner last night and didn't let anybody know, at least not the right people. I had told my professor I wouldn't be there, and he in turn did not pass along the information. So I was given a talking to not once, but twice, today when I went to the education department. How dare I not go when they had paid for the dinner and I didn't even let anyone know? I fear that because of this dinner, my name is now on a list somewhere under "No Certificate for You."

2004-01-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

I seem to have this capability of getting pink eye at least once a year. I must be starting early this year cause I've got it yet again. The only thing that I hate about this is that I can't wear my contacts. It's a time that I am forced to wear my glasses, an item I abandoned when I was allowed to get contacts at 13. I've ignored my glasses for so long that I haven't gotten new ones since I was in high school. This means that the prescription with my glasses is very, very OLD. My vision gets worse all the time. Since I'm forced into becoming one of the "four-eyes" for a few days, I've decided I really should update my glasses. It's really hard to see out of these things. I couldn't see the board in class today (always the child's case) and things were blurry while I was at work tonight. I have a headache from not being able to see clearly all day and my eyes are very tired. But the kicker in all this is when I was driving this morning. I really should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery while wearing these glasses. While driving to school this morning, I ended up taking both lanes on the road for a while. I couldn't see the white lines in the middle of the road. It was after a minute of this two-lane driving that I realized the road seemed awfully big when it shouldn't be. I'm really surprised I didn't hit anything today.

2004-01-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking more and more about this teaching at a private school. These girls are going to be wearing uniforms everyday. I've never had to deal with such an issue and I hate the idea of it anyway. But of course if they start complaining in class about it, I can't agree with them and say it's a waste of money to be creating all these uniforms so that you all look the same and nobody feels "left out." My mom asked me yesterday what I was supposed to wear. All I could say was, "duh, I'm not the student this time. I don't have to wear the uniform." She said that she was only wondering if there was a certain dress code that I was supposed to adhere to. Shit. Never thought of that. They wouldn't make me wear skirts and dresses all the time, would they? I mean, damn it, I just bought new pants specifically so I wouldn't wear my jeans to class. And, it's the Windy City for goodness' sake, who is wearing skirts during this time? I'm not of fan of freezing my ass off. I'd have to do the whole pantyhose thing too, which means that I wouldn't be using the bathroom during the day (do you know how difficult it is to pull those things back up into place in a tiny little stall?). Now I'm back into the whole vanity thing of What am I going to wear instead of what I should be focusing on - What am I going to do there?

2004-01-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

So here I sit, in Holland, Michigan, for the last couple weeks ever. It's really rather boring here with only one class that I need to take and nothing else really to do. But I guess that it's a welcomed break before I go into my student teaching. I keep hearing how busy and tired everyone gets during this time, so I'm slightly worried, but more worried about actually having to take care of an entire class. Their future minds lie with me for a few weeks.

I did find out my placement though, after waiting forever to here where I'll be at. All I can say is that I'm only going to be adding to the amazing amount of estrogen in the school building. I've never been to an all girl school before, and now I have to teach at one. Should be interesting.

Other than that, I honestly have nothing to report since I've basically been sitting here in this apartment wasting my time, just waiting until I get to go back home.

2004-01-06T00:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've written on my blog and amazingly enough, I don't really have anything new and exciting to add. Winter break is now officially over, and while I did do a lot of things that I enjoyed, I can't see them all being of particular interest to everyone else.

So here's a brief synopsis of what has happened in the last three weeks...

I went to Las Vegas to visit my dad over Christmas. It was really a lot of fun, especially getting the VIP treatment and being able to cut in front of everyone in line and having practically the entire staff of the hotel at our door at the snap of our fingers. Always very nice.

That trip led to the quality family time.... always important.

I spent a lot of time with Ocean just hanging out. This is always a plus. Seeing lots of movies and such is my favorite.

Now it's time to get back to school. Very upsetting. I still hate the beginning of a semester.

2003-12-13T10:35:00.000-08:00

The semester is over!! No more exams or papers. So wonderful to have nothing to do.

But the time for student teaching is getting closer and closer. It's scaring me. I'm going to have to impart knowledge to other people. What's wrong with that picture? Cassie leading the class, assigning projects and stuff that I wouldn't have wanted to do when I was in high school. Plus, I'm going to blend in with the students. Nobody's going to know that I have partial power at the school. The security gaurds are probably going to stop me and ask for my hall pass. I've done work at a high school already and all of the guys were bigger than me.

Oh well though, I can think about that later. Time to enjoy break.....my time with Ocean and then sunny Las Vegas.

2003-12-08T21:08:00.000-08:00

Ok, so tonight was the end of Average Joe and the chick didn't even choose the average joe!! She chose one of the pretty boys that was added to the show half way through. I figured it would go that way, but I was cheering the average joe on. I wanted him to win. So sad.... what a bitch.

2003-12-08T11:55:00.000-08:00

Sad, lonely, frustrated, tired, bored, anxious..... the list could go on and on about what's going on in my head this last week of the semester. I feel very out of touch with everyone, especially those I love most, and I just want to get the hell out of here. My paranoid feelings that something is terribly wrong are coming back, as much as I'm trying to fight them. It's damn hard to convince myself that everything's ok.

In better news, I was actually able to finish a book that I wanted to read, something that was not for school. That's always a nice thing, especially since I don't have to do any assignment for it afterwards.

2003-12-04T12:44:00.000-08:00

One class left to go to. One paper and a half left to write. One final to take. I am definitely ready for the damn semester to be over.

Here's a little story for ya, one related to me by my father over Thanksgiving weekend. He has his new job in Las Vegas at one of the major hotels on The Strip. A couple weeks ago, some big shot was at the hotel (the person's name escapes my mind), someone worth enough to have the Secret Service at the hotel. Some big ordeal was going on, perhaps the person entering and leaving the building, so they had guards and such all over. My dad's job in this? He was to stand outside on the bridge in front of the hotel. If some emergency happened and people needed to be prevented from entering the hotel, my dad was to stop them. I had to laugh at this since my dad is in no shape or form ready to stop charging people entering the building. If something went down and people with weapons were trying to enter the hotel, my dad would be the one to open the door for them. I think this was a mistake placing my dad in this position. It didn't make sense. He was told afterward though that there had been snipers on the roof. I now maintain that they did know that my dad was incapable of stopping people from getting into the hotel. He was placed there for target practice. Ah, the mob stuff...gotta love it.

2003-12-02T13:36:00.000-08:00

So apparently I have chosen the wrong subject area to teach in. Not only will it be difficult to find a job after graduating, I'm also having problems even finding a placement for my student teaching. As many of you know (by many, I mean the one or two people who read this), I'll be going to Chicago next semester for student teaching. I just got a call today from one of the people who work for the program. She's having a very difficult time finding a placement for me. She said she's gone through all the public schools they work with in the city and each of them have said "no no no" to English teachers. She wanted my permission to start asking the Catholic schools in the city. If those 40 schools all say no too, she may have to go to the suburbs, something they don't really do. I have a feeling I'm going to get screwed somehow. Damn it.

2003-12-01T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...the last week of class. The week when I stop caring about the work I'm doing and really don't pay any attention in class. For example...

Today in my last biotechnology lab, we had a debate on stem cell research. Now, we were assigned positions to take at least a month ago, to which of course I heard which side I was to take, wrote it down, and forgot about it. Actually, the person I was to be working on this with asked me last week what I had found for our position in the debate.
My response to her was, "what debate?"
"The debate we have for lab next week."
"We have a debate next week?"
"Yeah, it's the last assignment for lab...stem cells?"
"Oh....nope, haven't done anything yet."

She told me she would call me the next day to see what I had done. Ha. She called; I had done nothing. We had an exam the next morning in class. She passed me a note by means of the professor asking if I wanted to give her a call later in the afternoon about the debate. Ha. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I was going home. No call. I wrote her an email saying that I would work on it over the weekend. Apparently, she called a few times last night wondering where I was. Don't worry, I called the poor thing back and told her what I had found. She was happy. Ah freshman...you gotta love 'em. So motivated.

Anyway, got sidetracked....so the debate's going on. I say my piece and then continue my own thoughts in my head while everyone else is talking. If octopi is plural for octopus, and foci is plural for focus, why isn't feti plural for fetus? Interesting.....

2003-11-24T20:28:00.000-08:00

The first day of snow has come. It was horrible and disgusting outside today. The wind was blowing, practically taking an ear off, snow flying everywhere. Sick. I had to walk carefully, not to try to avoid tripping over my own two feet this time, but so I wouldn't slip and fall on my ass (which I did last year, with a little bit of class though I think). I hate winter.

2003-11-18T20:57:00.000-08:00

I saw a catalogue selling heated shaving cream dispensers. Is it really necessary to have the shaving cream heated? What does this add? All these years and I've always used plain, cold shaving cream for my delicate legs. I must have been missing out. I wonder what benefit this heated shaving cream has. The ad didn't discuss exactly what pleasure would come from this heated shaving cream. Just that it would be hot.

2003-11-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I had to take my subject area(major and minor) tests in order to be certified for teaching in the state of Michigan. They were not fun at all. I had been in Chicago the whole day before and had gotten about 4 hours of sleep the night before taking them. I took the first at 8am and seriously almost fell asleep. I went back at the end of the test to check my answers, and I couldn't even remember reading some of those questions. I took the second one in the afternoon, but it was equally horrible. I didn't really know what I was doing. I guessed on the majority of them.

But tonight, I got the unofficial scores sent to me via email.

I PASSED!!!!!!

I passed both tests, meaning that as long as I don't totally screw up during my student teaching, I will be certified in Michigan. Yes, I do have to take a different set of tests to be certified in Illinois, but I don't have to take those stupid tests here again.

2003-11-12T12:45:00.000-08:00

Did you know that you can commit plagiarism against yourself?

I have a paper that's due on Tuesday and of course I don't want to do it. After reading over the description once again though, and I realized that it's very similar to an assignment I did last semester. So what pops into my head? I can turn in the paper once again to a different professor for a different assignment. The lazy way out - yes. Not being creative - yes. A relief when there's about 100 other things to do - hell yes. Lucky for me I kept everything on disk, so I printed out another copy, fully intending on making all the necessary changes and doing more work on it so that it fits the assignment for this course. Then my conscience hit me. What happens if I'm not allowed to do this? What if in that rare instance my professors are talking and the topic of my paper comes up and by some strange twist of fate they find out that they've read the same paper? Do I really want to fail in my last year here? Of course not.

So I made a phone call to my one professor who knows the answer to everything and asked him if this type of thing is acceptable. If I was to do this, I would have to ask my professor this semester if it would be okay with him. If I didn't say anything, I could be in touble for you guessed it, plagiarizing myself. Definitely strange.

2003-11-10T11:42:00.000-08:00

Today is just not my day at all, and it's not even 3 yet. I was going to wear this new shirt today, so I go to tear off the tag (with my hands of course, no scissors) and the damn thing wouldn't rip. I ended up slicing my finger with the stupid plastic tag thing. Then, who knew that ice was forming so soon? I knew it was cold, but not icey yet. I go to step out of the car this morning onto what I thought was wet pavement, only to find out that it was ice. I slid all the way down the car and practically half way under the car next to me. Needless to say, my pants were damp and my ass hurts. In lab today, we're testing spices for their resistance to bacteria (so exciting) and someone left there bowl with cinnamon on my table. I went to clean it up. The water from the faucet came out so fast that water and cinnamon went all over my shirt. Back here in the room, I bent over to see if something had fallen behind the TV stand and I smacked my head onto the bathroom doorknob. How I managed that one I still don't know. I fear for what's to come later.

2003-11-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

I love this sonnet. It's so beautiful and moving. I wrote an explication on this sonnet last year actually. I spent the most amount of time actually writing this paper than I ever had in a long time. I wrote about the language that was used to express the beauty of the woman being described. I did a great job on the paper, minus one thing. I came to find out that this whole sonnet was about a man. I had spent all my time writing about this woman's beauty and the man's love for her only to find out I should have been writing about the man's love for a younger man. Interesting.

Anyway, I figure that since this was written to a man, and I love it anyway, I dedicate this sonnet to my man. I love you.

2003-11-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

I actually told my mother that I went to Chicago this last weekend for a Halloween party. I did not give the specifics as to which apartment I was at, but she knew that I was not around school. I think I may have told her someone else's apartment other than the one I was at, but oh well. The first thing she asked me was if I had to dress up, to which of course I answered yes. She was shocked, but she had every right to be since I'm not a huge fan of the whole costume thing. She asked what I dressed up as. I described to her what I had on. She couldn't believe that I had dressed up as a hooker (I think the term she used for the shirt was "skanky"). She went on for about five minutes about how she couldn't believe that her daughter had gone to a party wearing "THAT" - she had dressed up as a pumpkin for Halloween, and her daughter went as a prostitute. I think that reaction made the dressing up all worth it.

2003-10-29T08:52:00.000-08:00

My toothbrush died last night at about 12pm. I had gone into the bathroom to brush my teeth before going to bed and I took the little toothbrush out of it's little toothbrush holder. I gently put the Crest toothpaste on the brush and began brushing my teeth. Back and forth, back and forth. After about a minute of this brushing, the head snapped off and smacked me in the face before falling into the sink. I just stood there staring at it sitting in the sink. It was a violent death. I must have angered it somehow. Poor little thing.

2003-10-27T15:46:00.000-08:00

Chris stated a while ago that his blog is advertising blank space (which is awesome). I noticed today what all the rest of our blogs advertise. Mine is something about sleep disorders. Jackie's is some odd thing about odor eliminators and mold reducers. Ocean's has political backgrounds and Julie's advertises the whole blog deal. I'm curious as to how these advertisements get on the blogs. Are these blog people trying to say something?

2003-10-26T07:16:00.000-08:00

I'm so torn about what to do. Payday was this last Friday. I've been working for two weeks, putting in extra hours that I hated doing because there was so much else I could have been doing, but I knew that my check would be great. Now that I have the check, it's so hard to decide what to do with the TWELVE dollars they paid me. I shouldn't spend it all in one place.

2003-10-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

Apparently the new, cool thing to say in sixth grade (or at least sixth grade here in Holland) is to say "I don't have any cheese and crackers, do you have any cheese and crackers" as many times as you can really fast. Two kids will participate in this mindless activity, each taking a turn, back and forth, until it becomes so ingrained in your mind that you realize that you are saying this little phrase to yourself over and over, and the only remedy is to smack the kids to make all the damn cheese and crackers go away.

2003-10-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

After research and such, I have finally discovered what was wrong with my roommate last year. It has been proven that she has a psychological disorder. She has a disorder called schizoid disorder. Here are the symptoms -

1 - pervasive pattern of indifference to others
2 - diminished range of emotional range and expression
3 - prefer social isolation

Those of you who knew her (I guess that would be Ocean) can tell how excited I was to discover that there is something truly wrong with her. The girl who never left the room except for class. She did not smile...ever. Nobody but her family called her. Very sad.

2003-10-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am tired. Very, very tired. Last night was the first night in about three days that I've gotten more than five hours of sleep. Damn these busy schedules.

I have nothing to report other than this week here is going to be the week from HELL.

And now I have to go to work.

2003-10-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I had no idea what happened with the Cubs on Tuesday. Yes I was home, but I hadn't watched anything - my brother and I had opted to watch Dumb & Dumber instead. I was talking to someone on the phone at about 9:30, and they were winning at that point, so I thought things had gone well. When I was at work yesterday, they kept announcing over the radio about this moron Steve who fucked up the game. I couldn't figure it out. It was driving me crazy. I began to ask the customers what had happened, which turned out to be pointless cause nobody knew. Terrible.

Then when I was driving home at 9:30 (8:30 Chicago time), they announced that the Cubs were ahead, so I once again hoped for the best. Now get this - the first thing I checked when I went online this morning was not my emails, not everyone's blog, but the news page to see if they won. I was crushed that they hadn't won. Everyone, I have to announce, I got hooked on the game. I don't know what caused this. Maybe the everyone's excitement ranging from Ocean and Chris to my professor here at school rubbed off on me. Maybe because it would have been cool to have a Chicago team make it all the way. I was even giving my roommate the updates on how they were doing and why it would be so cool if they won. But I really was disappointed to find out they lost.

2003-10-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

I have decided not to go back to school today as I had planned before. It always comes up on the day that I'm supposed to drive back. I get this incredible urge to just not go back to school - screw it, I hate doing all the work anyway. Life seems so much better here. Of course that's my laziness shining through and I tell myself that I'm almost done, and I can come back here in three weeks. But today that little lecture didn't work. I decided to stay here for one more day.

My roommate is now considering whether or not she really wants to go to medical school. This is a whole new area of discussions that I'm not used to. She's always been so excited about going, very determined (much more so than me to do anything). Now she's not so sure anymore. It's scary. I don't know what to say to someone who's going to completely change their plans in life. She's wanted this since she was in high school. It's a change that I had a feeling would be coming, but now I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to sound like a moron and tell her everything will be fine, she'll know what she wants to do. I can't ignore the subject because for one thing that's impossible with her (she'll harp on the topic for weeks), and the second thing is that it's terrible of me to just let something like this go. I need a book or something where I can look up a problem and read about the best possible advice I can give, something that will really make her happy again.

Damn these grown-up problems.

2003-10-08T10:19:00.000-07:00

I had a male customer last night ask me if one of our rings (a huge diamond-like one) came in any larger sizes, so that he could get one. He was totally serious.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I overheard a conversation yesterday that went like this...

"Is it okay to screw your cousin?"

"Sure..."

2003-10-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here's something for ya...

I get back from class tonight at about 7. I sit down, start chatting with my roommate when there's a knock at the door. My roommate answers the door while I'm typing stuff on the computer.

"Is Cassandra here?"

I look over at the door. There's a cop standing there.

"Um, yea, that's me."

"I have a subpoena for you."

"A what?"

I walk over to the door. What the hell am I getting a subpoena for? I haven't done anything... at least not that I know of. I didn't tip the waitress at the restaurant I went to last week, but that's about it.

"What's this for?"

"I don't get the specifics of the cases. I just deliver these."

"Is this for the car thing?"

"Could be. You just need to be at court on this date, at this time. Call this number at 5pm the day before to make sure the trial is still on for the next day."

"Um, ok."

The name on the paper is the bastard that messed up my car, but why do I have to go to court? It's not like I'm going to testify or anything. Strange. So, I guess I've got myself a court date.

2003-10-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here, trying to be a good student by doing my school work, and I have been stopped due to the fact that you have to subscribe to use the Oxford English Dictionary. I have to translate a passage of a poem written by Chaucer, and I need to look up some of the words in the dictionary, but the stupid thing won't let me. I'm not on school campus, where apparently it's free. Doesn't that seem wrong that I have to pay for information like that? So much for trying to be a good student. Oh well, I never really considered myself one anyway.

I think my manager at work is going to start not liking me anymore. Last year when I worked there, I was available all the time and was a very good employee. She was all excited that I was coming back to work. I'm still a good employee, but I'm hardly ever available. I've taken off basically every weekend in October, and now I'm moving onto November as well. She called me today to see if I could come in for about an hour to work, and I told her I couldn't since I wasn't in the area. She sounded disappointed. I feel bad. But once again, oh well.

2003-09-30T13:13:00.000-07:00

If Wal-Mart is continually marking down prices, why isn't anything free yet?

2003-09-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

So I was escorted in a police vehicle today. Actually I was escorted out of my building by an officer, which of course I got looks from anybody who passed by. The doors on a cop car really can't be opened from the inside.

Really, it's not as interesting as it sounds though. There was some vandalism that occured here at Hope earlier this week. Some people were cought taking decals and such off of cars in one parking lot. When I heard this, I didn't think anything of it (but I should have since my car was parked in that lot). I noticed today that the Nissan emblem had been ripped off the front of my car. The cop only came to take my complaint. But still, I got to ride in the back of a cop car.

Damn the people who destroyed my car.

2003-09-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be at work. That is, as of last week, I should be at work tonight. But no, they changed the schedule.... and didn't tell me. The more I think about it, the more I really don't like working at Claire's. I don't feel quite as bad anymore for having taken off every weekend in October.

2003-09-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those times when you seriously feel as though you cannot hold any more information in your head? Those times when you've heard so much throughout the day that there just can't possibly be more. Especially when the majority of the information comes to you within an hour and a half - if you hear anything more, something else is bound to leak out.

That was my day today.

I went from 9:30 this morning to 8:30 tonight, class after class, seminars....

I basically found out tonight though that I have about 500 things to do in order to get a teaching position (credentials, references, resumes, etc.), and they all have to be done by the end of the semester. I don't think I even want to get a job anymore.

2003-09-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

I truly, truly hate being sick. I got off the phone Friday night at about 11pm or so and it was terrible. My head hurt so bad, I swear I must have had a fever of about 103, and no matter which way I was lying down, I couldn't get comfortable.

Enough of that though.... that's not interesting.....

I got a phone call from my cousin today. Her boyfriend finally proposed to her today, so she was calling to ask me to be a bridesmaid. I'm actually really excited. I've never been a bridesmaid before, and of course I'm very happy for her. The funny thing is that my roommate and I were talking about my cousin and her boyfriend just the other day. My roomie asked me when they were getting married, and I had to explain my cousin's whole plan. Her and her boyfriend moved in together about a year ago or so. She said that they had to live together for at least a year before he was allowed to propose. Weird I know, but this is what she wanted. Apparently he wanted to get married this summer, but she said no because that didn't fit her plan. I guess now was a good time. Good for them.

Is it still normal or tradition for the guy to be asking the girls' parents for permission? I thought this was something that was done in like the 60's, but not now. That was another thing my cousin mentioned. She said that her mom and dad knew because he called each of them before hand. Is that truly what's supposed to still happen? I'm at a total loss.

2003-09-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

It's not even cold outside yet, and I have a cold. That just seems wrong.

But, good news though. Psycho 80's woman has been working with us for about two weeks now, and she will be fired tomorrow. Me and this other woman I work with have been complaining enough that the district manager said that she can't stay anymore, so she will be here tomorrow to "let her go." Awe, so sad. Really, a little tear came down my cheek last night when I found out... actually no, I started crying from laughing so hard.

I got a call at work last night though. My roommate called me to tell me that our suitemate's mattress had been stolen, and in replacement there was a pad (maxipad that is). It was unfolded, just laying there where the mattress should have been. Interesting. By the time I got home, the mattress had been returned, possibly placed over the pad. I didn't check that far. Who would think to take a mattress? That's impressive.

2003-09-16T13:20:00.000-07:00

I have to go to work again. That psycho 80's woman will be there again. Fortunately, I think she leaves when I come in, so I shouldn't have to interact with her for very long. But, since she is insane, and obviously can't do much at work, I'll probably end up with lots of things to do. I may have to clean the store and fix all the paperwork she's probably screwed up. Wow, that's actually sad when I get excited about having to clean the store. That's how sad this mall is. I'm only there for 4 hours, but they will be the longest 4 hours ever. And then, I have to go in again tomorrow night for another 4 hours. I just hope I'm getting paid better than they said I would be since I hardly get any hours. My total last week was 6. This week - 8. Pathetic. I actually want to apply for another school loan, not only because I need to pay for the rest of this semester and next semester, but because I get the leftover money. I thought of this last night. I got really excited at the idea that I would get all the leftover money. It's possible that I calculated things wrong and I'd end up with $20.

Have I seriously only been back here for 4 weeks now? Shit, could've fooled me.

AND.... I found out something very scary today. My education prof is the nicest old man ever, but he gave me very bad news. I asked him what he knew about the Chicago teaching semester. He asked what I wanted to know. I have been under the impression that for the Chicago teaching semester, I would come here to Holland for a few weeks and take my very last education class before going to Chicago to teach. I asked him about this, and he told me that he thought that the class needed to be taken either as an independent study while there, or that it needed to be taken before going. They are now encouraging people to take it before instead of the independent study. My mouth dropped.

"Taken before? BEFORE? When am I supposed to do this?"

"When are you planning on student teaching?"

"Next semester. That means that I'd have to be in that class now!"

"Uh, hold on...let me go ask someone... stay right there... I'll find out... I could be wrong...just wait."

The woman he went to ask wasn't there. I began flipping out again asking what I was supposed to do. I don't want to come back for one stupid class! AHHHHH!!! He said he'll find out for me, so hopefully he'll have an answer on Thursday. I'll do the independent study, I don't care. But don't make me come back for only 4 credits. :(

2003-09-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

Another weekend done and over with. I completely hate my English class. Have you ever had a homework assignment that you just really, really, really don't want to do? Actually, it's not really the entire assignment that I don't want to do. I don't want to read it all. Out of the three questions to answer, there's one that I want to pretend I can't read, so I don't have to answer it. I guess that means that I don't want to the whole thing, since to answer these questions at the end, I have to read. It's terrible.

So I now at the Claire's at the Holland Westshore Mall, which is the most depressing mall that I've ever seen. The majority of the stores there have closed. Most of the people there are just there to exercise (the mall walkers, as I call them). It's so boring there. Four hours working there at night lasts for about eight. We have a new manager. She's crazy. She has an 80's style hair. She's got the long hair, but her bangs are really short. She styles these bangs up high, to give herself heighth. She can't pay attention to more than one thing at a time. She does one job for a while, and then before it's finished, moves onto another. I had to tell her what things to do. I heard that she asked the girl she closed with last night what all needs to be done at closing. She's been doing this job for 2 weeks now. She tried to pass one of her ear piercing customers onto me yesterday. These two girls came in at 3:20 yesterday. I was supposed to leave at 3:30. She spends all this time talking to them, has them fill out the paperwork, and then asks me to pierce their ears. I said no. Psycho. I don't think I like her.

2003-09-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

Cassie is sad.

2003-09-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

It's finally Friday. And yes, I just realized this about an hour ago. I think it's coming from my process of counting down the days so soon. On Wednesday, I could have sworn it was Thursday, and I got all excited that it would soon be Friday. I then discovered that I was a day ahead of myself. Then yesterday, for a good portion of the day, I thought it was Friday. I kept thinking that I could just take the night off because I could do my work over the weekend. Of course I then looked at my syllabus for one of my classes and saw that it was only Thursday. Now today I had no idea that it was actually Friday. I think this is some kind of disorder. I even have a day-by-day calendar that sits on my desk, right in front of my face when I'm using the computer. There has got to be some kind of therapy to help with this loss of days.

It's so sad - I feel like I miss everything that's going on around home while I'm here (probably because I do). My mom forgets to call me most of the time - out of sight, out of mind I guess. I hear over the phone and through email what's all happening over there with everyone. This really hasn't bothered me too much until this year. And it's not that I miss living at home, cause that's the great thing about being away. It's everything else - Ocean and friends. That's what home is. I knew last year that my home didn't feel like home really anymore. It's when I was with Ocean that I felt like I was at home. I even called his number once last year when I had thought about calling home. I just connected him with home. It's bothering me more this year because I think it's finally sunk in what I want to be doing. I tend to have these paranoias all the time that something's going to happen and it's all going to be taken away from me. But I think I've finally gotten a grip on everything, through him and friends. Ocean and everything about him is what home means to me, and I miss it all so much. It seems wrong to be away. I'll be done soon, and all ready to go home.

Sorry for the sappiness - it's Sappy Friday.

2003-09-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's the anniversary of 9-11, as it has come to be known. We discussed it in my education class today, mostly because my professor wanted our ideas of what we would do if something were to happen again. More than likely we'll be in a classroom when something happens again among students who are confused. While I do feel that this was a terrible thing that happened, it's a little difficult for me to understand why we need to continually talk about it and mourn over it. I totally understand that the people who it directly affected, those who lost someone during the incident, have every right to mourn and remember all the time. But it seems as though everyone else just, as Jackie said, promotes America. It's only because it happened to America. There's got to be so much more behind why it all happened, like all the terrible things we've probably done to other countries. I'm not saying that it should have happened and we deserved it, because nobody deserves that. I do feel that it was very wrong to have happened. The whole thing just seems odd, especially when some people suggest that we shouldn't even have classes today. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy.

2003-09-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

All right, my knowledge has been challenged again. Excuse me, but "boughten" is very much a word. I was mistaken by saying that it was an Americanized word, because when I checked it again, there was nothing in the dictionary that said it was an Americanized word. Anyway, even it were an Americanized word, that doesn't mean that it isn't a word. Each time they print a new edition to a dictionary they add new words. These new words are ones that have become commonly used, having a meaning of their own, meaning that they need to be put into the dictionary. Languages change - new words are added as time goes by, just as the meaning of certain words can change over time. When the Johnson's Dictionary of the English Language was printed in the 1700's, they had words such as electric printed. But the meaning for electric then didn't have the same meaning as it would today. More definitions for the word have been added. A word being "Americanized" doesn't mean it's a made up word. It's just a word that isn't derived from the French or Greek language. It's a word that the dictionary feels should be included. Anybody can suggest a word to the dictionary writers. It's then up to the writers whether or not it should be included. Like right now - the Oxford English Dictionary is in the process of making a new edition. You can send in word entries. They have conditions and all that I haven't looked over, but you can send in a word and the definition.

Anyway, now that my entry has become something like an English lesson, I think it's time to move on. Not that I really have any topic to move on to since I don't really have that much going on here. My life at school is fairly boring. I was supposed to work last night, but as soon as I got to the store, my manager told me that she had tried to call and tell me not to come in. The only reason I was on the schedule was because last week she had taken one girl off and put me on. But that girl never looked at the schedule, so she came in anyway. I wasn't too mad. It's not like I have to drive far. But I never heard my phone ring. I have decided that I need to find a different purse. Ever since I started carrying my phone in this black purse, I haven't been able to hear the phone ring. It's like a bottomless pit. The phone gets lost in there. Poor thing.

2003-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Nothing is really happening around here. After a great weekend, I'm back to the mundane routine of school. I have a severe case of senioritis while it's only the third week of classes. I got an offer over the weekend to quit school and come to live back around Illinois. A very, very tempting offer, due to the fact that I'm very tired of school. But, that would mean that the last three years I've spent here would be wasted, and I just don't understand the idea of quitting with only a year left. I can make it through the rest of the year (keeping my fingers crossed). It'll be fine, but thanks for the offer.

My roommate is beginning her applications to medical school. She's been thinking about these since I met her three years ago. I really hope she gets in somewhere. I know she'll be devastated if she doesn't, but I think she'll be fine. We were sitting in our room last night talking about how we'll soon be done with school. I just laughed and told her that she's not done yet. She looked at me and said, "aw crap, no I'm not. I'm never going to be done am I?" No my dear, I'm afraid you won't be. I, on the other hand, will be done in May.... only until I have to go back again for my Masters. But I will be done.

2003-09-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

Let me just state for the record that 'boughten' is a word. Another test of my knowledge of the English language came up a few days ago. I had said 'boughten' from time to time, and finally someone told me that it wasn't a word. I told her that it was to a word, but she disagreed. Since I had Microsoft Word up on the computer, our resolution for this was to type it in and spell check it. Of course, it didn't even register as a word. I was annoyed, but admitted that perhaps I could have been wrong. Well, today in that horrible English class of mine, we had to look through different dictionaries. I happened to think of 'boughten' again, so I looked it up. HAHAHA. It was listed in the dictionary - it's a so called "Americanized" word, but still a word. Thank you, thank you very much.

Anyway, a crisis has been taken care of. For those of you who don't know, I'm not only an English major, but also a Secondary Education major (yes, I could very well be teaching your children one day). The education classes here have field placements that go along with the classes basically meaning that with each class, you go into an actual classroom at one of the surrounding schools to see what it's really like. I had made my schedule this semester leaving afternoons free for this field placement. I was given an option today by my professor. The teacher's listed availability time was 8-11:45am. I have class every day at 9:30. I would have to go to placement from 8-9 in the morning, meaning that I would have to leave here at 7:30 to get there on time. Do you know how early I would have to be getting up to do that? I didn't like that idea at all. I understand that once I actually have a teaching position I'll be getting up at about 5 in the morning, but there's no way in hell I want to be doing that crazy stuff now. As it is, I'll be having early mornings next semester with student teaching. I was very upset leaving class, dreading making the phone call to this teacher. I called her when I got back to my room. To my extreme delight, she said that she had changed her available hours to 12:20-2:20 in the afternoon. How perfect is that? I told her I would gladly work with her this semester.

2003-09-02T10:46:00.000-07:00

I'm in this class called History of the English Language, and trust me, it really is as bad as it sounds. This may very well be the class that kills me this semester, either from the boring encylopedia that is used as one of our textbooks, or perhaps just the fact that I have to sit in the class for an hour and a half in the morning twice a week. So I'm sitting in this class this morning, just watching the second hand move around the clock when the professor hands out this worksheet that he would like us all to discuss in groups (one of my least favorite class activities). The worksheet has about eight different sentances on it. They're sentances that he has gotten from various speeches or papers written. We're supposed to go through them all and discuss what's wrong with the sentances, and what we would do/think if these sentances came from a high school student vs. a professional newspaper.

Here's one of the sentances -

"It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America."

This I have to say was the worst one on the sheet. Not only is it wrong grammatically, but it doesn't even really make sense. Not to mention that the content is incorrect. All my group could think about was what in the world was wrong with this person who thinks that African slaves left Africa for America because of their belief in freedom. A classmate and I mentioned that if this came from a student, of course the grammar of the sentance needs to be fixed, but then the kid needs to be questioned about their knowledge of history (e.x. What the hell kind of history classes have you been taking?).

After much analysis of this statement, our professor informed us that he took this very educated statement from Mr. George W. Bush's speech. Incredible. This only adds to my first notion that this man is a dumbass.

2003-09-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

I have forgotten the meaning of Labor Day. Not that I ever actually did know what Labor Day was really for, but I still seem to have lost something. When I was younger, Labor Day meant having that nice three day weekend shortly after school started again. It made the craziness and depressing state of the beginning of the year kind of wear away. Hell, when I lived in Minnesota, school didn't even start until after Labor Day. But now, actually starting three years ago, Labor Day is just another day. Nothing special. I still labor on Labor Day. See, oddly enough, my school still has classes on Labor Day. I have no concept of others doing nothing on Labor Day. I was talking to Ocean and he had mentioned that he had Monday night off. I didn't know why. My mom was talking about what she was going to do on her day off. I asked her what the day off was for. Because of this school and their school being in session on this valued day off, I no longer have any concept of Labor Day. I hope everyone enjoyed their nights off. :)

2003-08-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

Another edition into the English major fiasco -

"Cassie, where does the phrase 'I'm going to powder my nose' come from?"

"I'm not really sure. I haven't learned too much about where these phrases originate from. I can make an educated guess though. Women before wanted to look picture perfect for their men, meaning that they would probably have to put their makeup on. These women would excuse themselves around their men or any other guest to go and make sure that their makeup still looked presentable. Nobody wanted to have a greasy looking face, so they would apply more powder, much the same way things happen today. Perhaps because the nose sticks out a bit more from the face, the nose would be the first thing to be powdered, covering up the shine." Now I had no idea what I was talking about, but it made sense to me at the time.

"But why 'powder my nose?' If they are going to powder their face, why not say 'powder my face?'"

"I'm sure they did... it's just a different form of the expression."

"Then why even bother with the nose? Where did the nose part come from? You're an English major. Why would they say it like that?"

"You know what, I really have no idea."

Please explain to me... why wasn't I told that by being an English major, I was to become the human dictionary and master of the spoken English language?

2003-08-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

All right all, I have come to the conclusion that I am getting old. Let me tell you, this is very sad to have to admit at this point, especially since I'm always the one to tell others that they're not old. This came to my roommate and I last night. We went to see a movie. When it was over, we both just sat there in the theater, and all we could think about was how tired we were. We just wanted to go back to our room and go to bed. It was only 11:15. After we both said that we were extremely tired and wanted to go to bed, we looked at each other and started to smile. Our freshman year, we had been talking to this one senior who couldn't understand why we would want to stay up until 3 in the morning. He always told us that that would change by the time we got to our senior year. We have now realized that he was right. It's hard to make it until 3 in the morning. On a Friday night, all we wanted to do was go to bed. This is very sad for me. When we got back to the room, I refused to go to bed right away because it seemed so wrong. I wouldn't give in. I made it until 12:30 before I finally passed out. So very, very sad.

2003-08-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

I think I'm starting to lose it already. Usually this doesn't happen until later on in the semester when I've read so much that I can't focus on the words on the page. At this point I start losing track of the days, thinking that it's a different day than it actually is. This always ends up in big disappointment. But it started today. I thought today was the day that I was supposed to be driving back, as in next Friday. I was sitting in my room, reading emails and such, and I suddenly became really scared because I thought that it was Friday the 5th. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten that I needed to drive back home after class. I quickly got up and went to get my bag that I had carelessly forgotten to pack. As soon as I started taking shirts out of the closet, it dawned on me that I have the wrong day. Boy did I feel stupid. And then that disappointment set in. Alas, I shall have to wait one more week.

2003-08-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

I came to the decision today that there should assigned parking spaces here. Why you may ask. So then I can have a spot and not have to park in a lot that's so damn far away from where I live. I made the mistake of going to the store the other day. I was gone for a total of five minutes, and when I came back, some ugly Chevy was in my spot. Where the hell did that car come from? So I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to find another place to park. In other words, what should have been a quick trip turned into a long escapade. With assigned spots, I wouldn't be going on these adventures to park my car. Or at least they could have a spot dedicated to me, so then I can continue to be lazy and not walk across campus to my car (which if you check out anything about Hope, you'll find that it's not a very big campus - walking across campus takes a total of about seven minutes).

I also seem to be terrible in the business of selling books online. I realized last year that there are several school books that I have acquired that I have absolutely no use for (such as American Music, for only $7). My roommate this year told me that she sells hers online, and makes good money off of them. I thought I'd try. I think I've made a total of $100 while she's made way more than that. Nobody seems to want the books that I'm selling. Maybe everyone has the same thought - who needs these books? Good for nothing books.

And let me just add one more thing - I love air conditioning. I know I'm spoiled by the wonderfulness of cold air on a hot day, but it's great. How can anyone not like air conditioning? I happen to live in the one and only air conditioned dorm here on campus. As I stroll by all the others, I see all the windows opened with fans turned on high. I only smile as I walk back to the cool temperatures of my room.

2003-08-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

Quick note -

I just noticed that in yesterday's attempt to make a spelling error free addition to this amazing, intellectual collection of mine, somehow all the punctuation I used turned into question marks. Really folks, I am not that obsessed with the question mark, even though it is a fun one to write. I guess Microsoft Word and the blogger program here don't agree in the use of quotation marks and such.

2003-08-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

I am definitely in a better mood today. No arguments today, and my sweetie called me this morning (although it was while I was vomiting), which made my day start off well (the phone call, not the getting sick part). I enjoy only having one class two days a week. Seriously, my schedule seems odd. It seems like I have oh so much free time. I love it, so don�t get me wrong, I am not complaining, just merely stating. I�m not used to this, but have adjusted quickly.

The one thing that drives me nuts about being an English major � everyone always thinks that I know every word of the English language. I�ll be with someone while they�re reading, they come across a word that they don�t know the meaning of, and they turn to me and ask what it means.

For example �

�Cassie, what does trephination mean?�

�I have no idea. Never heard it before.�

�Well, you�re the English major, shouldn�t you know?�

�Why would I know?�

�You should. Look it up. Then when you come across it later, you�ll know.�

�Um, ok.�

And then like a sucker, I look it up. It�s a process they used to do to let the demons out. They cut a hole out of the skull. Interesting�..

2003-08-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

Classes started today. Not too bad. It's always very daunting though when you first receive that syllabus. So much reading to do in such a short semester. I hate looking ahead and seeing all the work that needs to be done later. A 15 page paper on a word of my choice. A 15-20 page paper that will only be worth 40 points. Sick.

But, in other words, I'm tired, I argued a lot today... Cassie's in a bad mood. She's going to sleep now. She'll be back tomorrow, hopefully a little more cheerful.

2003-08-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

You never really understand just how much crap you own until you have to pack it all up and move. It's terrible. I've been running around here all day trying to get everything put together. Of course I saved most of my packing until the very day I'm leaving because I thought it would be easy. I figured I can't own too much, so it won't be bad. You'd think that I would have learned by now that this is not true after moving back and forth about 12 times, but no.

Once again, I keep thinking about how much I hate the beginning of the school year. The beginning's terrible because I know that there's still so much more of it left. I'm one of those students that lives during the school year by keeping track of my next break. Like right now - I'll be back in two weeks for Ocean's birthday. After that, I'll be looking forward to fall break in October. Then Thanksgiving. Forget the time in between. I go by the time off.

It's sad to go, more so now than before. Continuing on with the sappiness, I'll miss everyone. I love the people at school, but they are so not the same. I can't sit there and start up a game of Settlers of Catan, or talk about bad TV shows from the past. I'm sure there are a couple people there that would be willing to do these, but they're not the same. It's a different atmosphere there than it is here, mostly because people there are way more conservative than I am, which always makes things weird.

But alas, I have to get going... off on the long drive to Holland (not the country).

2003-08-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

Ocean and I went out and saw these great movies yesterday - Dirty Pretty Things and The Magdalene Sisters. The first was really awesome. I enjoyed the Sisters movie, but it didn't seem as action and emotionally packed as the other. I cried during Dirty Pretty Things, not out of sadness, but because it was so nice. I hate crying at the movie theater too. It's terrible. Especially because I know that my eyes get all red and puffy when I cry (as I'm sure most people's do), and I don't like turning around and having some old guy give me a look like I'm some kind of softy (which I am and damn, he should learn to show some emotions). Oh well, I'm extremely self-conscious. Can't help it.

Another cool movie is May. I'm sure you've all heard the description of it from Ocean, but it really was an awesome movie. The other day, my mom, brother, and I were on the train. This old, scary looking guy sat behind us. He kept scrunching up his face and talking to himself. For a while, he stared at me with his eyes squinting as if to take a better look. Of course this creeped me out, and I tried my very best to look at the trees outside instead of staring right back. When we got to Chicago, the man stands up and puts on gloves. It was about 90 degrees outside and the man was putting on gloves. He then picked up his industrial size cooler. At that moment, my brother and I made a dash for the train exit. The point - watch May. You'll understand my fear of this man.

2003-08-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

Ok then, this would be the beginning. Well, I guess not the total beginning, but the beginning, or birth if you will, of my blog. Many people seem to be taking part in this online journal, and for some reason, I've had requests to start my own. I've never ever been good at these journals, but I thought I could give this a try and please those who seem to want to know about the mundane occurances in my life. Actually, perhaps this can finally be a journal that I keep up with. I own about 5 very nice journals, all of which I had every intention of filling with my deepest thoughts. I always had the thought that maybe someday, my journals would be published and people would flock to the bookstores to read all about ME. But then I realized that I really don't have any deep thoughts, and then I got lazy. So all 5 of those journals have about 4 pages filled in each.

I have to leave for school this weekend. I'm excited in that I'm going back and it's my final year, so I won't have to go back again, but then again, I always hate the beginning of the school year. The end of it seems so far away that I don't even want to begin it. Oh well, I guess it won't be that bad. At least I now have a place to be living. My living situation for the upcoming semester was up in the air for the last few weeks (for reasons that are too long and boring to explain). After many arguments with the Dean of Students about living off campus, he has given me three options as to where I may live: on campus, on campus, or on campus. I chose to live on campus. It sucks, but I'm still keeping my hopes up that I'll be in Chicago second semester, so what the hell do I care. But can you believe it? The bastard kept me waiting for the last three days for his decision while he was "considering" it, and then he has the nerve to have someone else call me to tell me my options. And, he doesn't really belive me when I tell him that my father is unemployed and living off campus would be cheaper. Dick.

So I saw Mamma Mia tonight. It wasn't too bad. A very cheesy story, but of course the music was good (all ABBA songs). Now I'm just sitting here wasting time basically, wondering what my little sweetie Ocean is up to, while my dad's in the background telling me to be very careful what I open up on the computer (our computer has yet to be virus protected). It's all very exciting.